Kathryn explained, “In a way I’m caught in between these two groups: the working class group and the world of academics. I don’t fully belong to either group anymore. I kind of have one foot straddling that line” (Gardener & Holley, 2011, p.84). I definitely could relate to the sentiments expressed by first generation doctoral students. Being the first to attend a university, and one of only two, in my extended family to earn an undergraduate degree, was a daunting endeavor. I feel more prepared to navigate academia in my post-graduate studies. I definitely have a better understanding of the rules of the game. I generally know what to expect and know how to access the different systems within the university. I also now have the support of my partner who understands what it takes to push through this level of education.
However, I do still continue to feel like I live in two worlds. Trying to explain a non-medical doctorate degree to my mom and many others in my family is a difficult task. My main reason for wanting such a degree is due to my excitement about the possibility of helping to shape knowledge. This is not a concept in my family’s world and in stating this I feel a sense of guilt that I somehow am devaluing who they are. They are hardworking, compassionate people and I owe part of my success to the work ethic they taught me.
Furthermore, lack of social capital early on continues to be an issue. Although I am financially more stable, I continue to to have to contend with the issues of student debt. I work a second job as a part-time college instructor to help offset the costs. The lack of financial stability of my mom further strains the budget. Yet for me, I am committed to not allow these invisible barriers become a roadblock. The emotional support I receive from my partner and daughter makes these conditions bearable.
References
Gardener, S. & Holley, K. (2011). Those invisible barriers are real: The progression of first-
generation students through doctoral education. Equity & Excellence in Education,
44(1), 77-92.
However, I do still continue to feel like I live in two worlds. Trying to explain a non-medical doctorate degree to my mom and many others in my family is a difficult task. My main reason for wanting such a degree is due to my excitement about the possibility of helping to shape knowledge. This is not a concept in my family’s world and in stating this I feel a sense of guilt that I somehow am devaluing who they are. They are hardworking, compassionate people and I owe part of my success to the work ethic they taught me.
Furthermore, lack of social capital early on continues to be an issue. Although I am financially more stable, I continue to to have to contend with the issues of student debt. I work a second job as a part-time college instructor to help offset the costs. The lack of financial stability of my mom further strains the budget. Yet for me, I am committed to not allow these invisible barriers become a roadblock. The emotional support I receive from my partner and daughter makes these conditions bearable.
References
Gardener, S. & Holley, K. (2011). Those invisible barriers are real: The progression of first-
generation students through doctoral education. Equity & Excellence in Education,
44(1), 77-92.